Buffy TRANSCRIPT

 

No Place Like Home

5x05 - Episode #083

written by Douglas Petrie

directed by David Solomon

originally aired October 24, 2000

 

NB: The content of this transcript, including the characters and the story, belongs to Mutant Enemy. This transcript was created based on the broadcast episode.

 

Originally transcribed by Joan the English Chick

 

Transcriber's Notes:

·        I do not own the characters or situations of BTVS, and I claim no credit for the content of this episode. I have merely transcribed what appeared on my screen, with help from the closed captions.

·        I prefer that you link to this transcript on the Psyche site rather than post it on your site, but you can post it on your site if you want, as long as you keep my name and email address on it. Please also keep my disclaimers intact.

·        You can use my transcripts in your fanfiction stories; you don't have to ask my permission. (However, if you use large portions of episode dialogue in your fanfic, I recommend you give credit to the person who wrote the episode.)

·        I apologize in advance for my lame transcription of the fight scenes. I don't know the names of different punches and kicks. Use your imagination.

 

 

Teaser

 

CZECH REPUBLIC- MONASTERY- CORRIDOR- NIGHT

 

Two MONKS race down the corridor, panicked, throwing terrified glance behind them. They clutch religious items in their arms: books, candles, incense. One of the monks stumbles, dropping a censer of incense. His companion helps him up and they continue their flight down the candlelit hallway.

 

The monks careen through a set of massive wooden doors and slam them shut. They slide a beam the size of a tree trunk across the doorway.

 

Title Card:

 

Two Months Ago

 

CZECH REPUBLIC- MONASTERY- GREAT HALL- NIGHT

 

As he beam slides home, one of the monks calls fearfully to the other in Czech.

 

MONK #2

(subtitle)

It's coming. It's going to kill us!

 

MONK

(subtitle)

Our lives aren't important. We have to protect the Key.

 

The two monks race to the center of the great room and join a third senior member of their order. They kneel on the floor before the SENIOR MONK, around several lit candles and magick talismans.

 

SENIOR MONK

(subtitle)

Help me perform the ritual.

 

All three monks extend their arms and begin chanting. As they speak the ancient words, a tremendous crash echoes through the monastery and the massive wooden door trembles in its frame. As the junior monks glance fearfully at the door, the elder admonishes them.

 

SENIOR MONK

(subtitle)

Concentrate. Concentrate.

 

The ritual resumes and a breeze springs up inside the chamber. The relentless pounding on the door continues; the crossbeam starts to splinter.

 

Suddenly, a bright flash of light leaps from the center of their circle. Then all goes dark as the door finally gives way and shatters, blasted into the room in pieces.

 

DISSOLVE TO:

 

SUNNYDALE INDUSTRIAL DISTRICT- FACTORY LOT- NIGHT

 

FADE IN:

 

On a sign mounted on a chain link fence:

 

PRIVATE PROPERTY

NO TRESPASSING

VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED

 

Title Card:

 

Now

 

BUFFY flies into frame and slams against the sign. She ducks just as a vampire's fist smashes into it where her head was an instant before. The VAMPIRE is a huge, burley Hell's Angel biker-type and he looms menacingly over Buffy.

 

BIKER VAMPIRE

I've always wanted to kill the Slayer.

 

BUFFY

And I've always wanted piano lessons. So really, who's surprised we have all this unexpressed rage?

 

Buffy punctuates her words with blow after blow, knocking the hulking vampire back several feet. He retaliates with a brutal punch to her face, sending her reeling. She blocks a second blow and wrenches the demon's arm behind his back and flattens him against the fence.

 

BUFFY

But honestly? I think I'm expressing mine better. Tell you what... you find yourself a good anger management class...

 

The vampire throws her off but she slams him back into the fence again and whips out a stake.

 

BUFFY

And I'll jam this pokey wood stick through your heart.

 

Before the vampire can react, Buffy stakes him to dust and slips the stake back into her coat.

 

BUFFY

(to herself)

I think that sets the world speed record for closure.

 

MAN

(o.s.)

Hey!

 

A bright light shines in Buffy's eyes as she turns to see the factory NIGHT WATCHMAN approaching.

 

NIGHT WATCHMAN

Miss, if you're looking for one of those rave parties, I'm afraid you're late. Chased a bunch of kids out of here last night.

 

BUFFY

(covers)

Oh, right. Yeah. Darn. My fellow ravers will be so disappointed. It was my turn to bring the Bundt cake.

 

NIGHT WATCHMAN

You know, if it was my call, I'd let you do whatever you want. It's not like anybody's using this place or nothin'. But they just don't pay me enough to argue with the boss so...

 

BUFFY

Already gone!

 

She turns to leave but the guard stops her.

 

NIGHT WATCHMAN

Oh, hey! Hold it, miss. Take your... whatever this is with you.

 

He bends over, picks up a glowing yellow orb and hands it to Buffy, who looks at it curiously.

 

BUFFY

Thank you.

 

NIGHT WATCHMAN

Glow balls, huh? (laughs) I swear, I don't get your generation. What is that thing?

 

BUFFY

(distracted)

I'll let you know as soon as I find out.

 

She turns and walks off into the night.

 

Opening credit sequence.

 

 

SUMMERS HOME- KITCHEN- DAY

 

Buffy is preparing a breakfast tray for her mother. DAWN enters, smiling.

 

BUFFY

Dawn, touch nothing.

 

DAWN

Who died and made you the Iron Chef?

 

BUFFY

Look, Mom's sick and I made her a nice non-instant breakfast for once. And I don't need you...

 

Dawn knocks over the rose vase on the tray.

 

DAWN

Oops!

 

BUFFY

...doing that.

 

JOYCE enters in her bathrobe, smiling.

 

JOYCE

Oh! Check out the "Pamper Mom" platter. (to Dawn) You two do all this?

 

DAWN

Oh, Buffy helped.

 

Buffy can't believe her sister.

 

BUFFY

I didn't "help"...

 

JOYCE

I'm sure you did. (sits down) So neither of you is pregnant, failing or under indictment? (off their looks) Just checking.

 

BUFFY

We knew you were feeling less-than-great so...

 

JOYCE

Yeah, the headaches they said would go away came back and brought some friends along with.

 

BUFFY

Well, what did the doctor say?

 

JOYCE

Oh, take four of some-pills a day and come back for tests.

 

BUFFY

So they don't know what's wrong?

 

JOYCE

Not yet.

 

BUFFY

Well, that's unacceptable. I think we should get a second opinion.

 

JOYCE

Well, we need a first opinion first, honey.

 

BUFFY

Okay, we'll go right now.

 

JOYCE

Buffy, I know you're concerned, okay? But don't be. I'm still the mom. Which means I get to worry about you two. Which is a good thing because you're a Vampire Slayer. (pulls Dawn onto her lap) And you... you are my little punkin' belly!

 

DAWN

(embarrassed)

Oh, Mom! That's like my kid name.

 

JOYCE

So I can't be retro?

 

Buffy notes Joyce and Dawn's easy camaraderie and feels a little excluded.

 

BUFFY

Did you ever have any names for me?

 

JOYCE

No... I think you were always just Buffy.

 

DAWN

I got some names for ya...

 

Buffy is hurt but covers. Joyce suddenly remembers something.

 

JOYCE

(to Buffy)

What are you doing hanging around here? Isn't this Giles' big day?

 

BUFFY

Oh! Bigger than big. It's his grand opening.

 

JOYCE

So go. Bring me back a... I don't know... a flying broomstick or something.

 

DAWN

Those never really work.

 

JOYCE

Whatever. Book club tonight?

 

DAWN

Uh-huh.

 

BUFFY

You guys have a book club? (off their looks) Okay, I'm gonna go. I will be back later. (to Joyce) What time is your doctor's appointment? (off her exasperated look) I just want to know... take it easy. I want you to relax all day, keep your feet up, plenty of Oprah.

 

DAWN

Plus you can check my rain forest report and you know there's like eighty bazillion old board games-

 

Buffy grabs Dawn by the arm and drags her out of the house.

 

DAWN

Hey! You said I couldn't come.

 

BUFFY

Changed my mind.

 

CUT TO:

 

THE MAGIC BOX- DAY

 

Buffy enters and glances up at the quaint bell that rings when she opens the door. She strolls into the store, taking in the curios and knickknacks lining the shelves. The store is quiet and empty. She looks up to find GILES standing serenely in the center of the store, dressed in a spangled purple robe and pointed purple warlock's cap. Giles smiles at Buffy cheerily who merely stares him down. Finally, he drops the fae and shrugs out of the costume just as Dawn bursts through the door behind Buffy, gasping for breath.

 

DAWN

(to Buffy)

I told you you couldn't ditch me! (looks around) Whoa... Mr. Giles! This place is so... wow. I mean, check out all the magick junk.

 

GILES

Our new slogan...

 

DAWN

So when's it open? You know, for customers?

 

GILES

Since nine this morning, actually.

 

BUFFY

Dawn. Go. Browse. And-

 

DAWN

"You break it, you bought it." Heard you the first sixty times.

 

Dawn wanders into the recesses of the store to check the place out.

 

GILES

(to Buffy)

Still, not to worry. No, I've got feelings about this place. Magick's a small niche market but... well, think about it. Sunnydale... monsters... supply and demand. They'll be lining up around the block in no time.

 

BUFFY

Yeah. You'll be making money hand over fist.

 

Suddenly puzzled, she holds her hand over her fist.

 

BUFFY

Which I guess is a good thing.

 

GILES

You all right? You seem a little distracted.

 

BUFFY

It's just my mom's still sick and we have no idea what the deal is.

 

GILES

She is getting medical attention?

 

BUFFY

Yeah. We have a highly trained medical staff working 'round the clock to tell us diddly.

 

GILES

I'm sorry. Still, you know, time and patience... both great comforts-

 

The bell jingles as WILLOW and RILEY enter. Willow runs in, excited.

 

WILLOW

Giles! Where's your hat and cloak?

 

RILEY

Yeah, the hype was out of control.

 

DAWN

(to Willow)

Willow! You gotta see this. They have the coolest talismens... mans... talisguys. I-

 

BUFFY

(interrupts)

Actually, I have a little Scooby-centric deal to deal with first.

 

Buffy reaches into her bag and removes the glowing yellow globe.

 

BUFFY

I put this before the group. What the hell is it?

 

GILES

It appears to be paranormal in origin.

 

WILLOW

How can you tell?

 

GILES

Well, it's so shiny.

 

BUFFY

Found it on patrol.

 

She hands the object to Giles.

 

RILEY

May be more where that came from. I say we go back out again tonight.

 

BUFFY

Um... sure.

 

DAWN

(to Riley)

You can't patrol. Buffy said.

 

BUFFY

No, I didn't.

 

DAWN

Yeah, remember? You said it'd be easier if you didn't have to look out for anybody.

 

BUFFY

(nervous)

Well, I wasn't talking about Riley.

 

RILEY

Don't worry about it.

 

DAWN

Oh, she just said you look even cuter when you're all weak and kitteny and she'd better go solo or you'd get hurt. So welcome to the club. She'll never let me go either.

 

Buffy is mortified and furious. Giles, Willow and Riley look away, uncomfortable. Dawn finally registers the awkward silence.

 

DAWN

What? What?

 

RILEY

Giles, you got that danger room set up out back? I'm feeling the need for a little physical rehab about now.

 

Giles hands the globe to Willow.

 

GILES

(to Riley)

Of course, yes. (to Willow) If any customers do-

 

WILLOW

On it.

 

BUFFY

Dawn, we're going.

 

Dawn knows she's in trouble and heads out, dejected. Willow stops Buffy before she leaves.

 

WILLOW

Buffy, wait. Go easy on her.

 

BUFFY

Why?

 

WILLOW

I can't help it. I just have all this involuntary empathy for Dawn. 'Cause she's, you know, a big spaz.

 

All of Buffy's pent-up frustrations suddenly pour out.

 

BUFFY

She's so annoying. Especially now that Mom's sick. She's all over her while I have to be the grown-up and the two of them are like the Giggle Twins and why can't I ever be L'il Punkin' Belly?

 

WILLOW

While I don't feel qualified to address the last part, I can tell you that Dawn's not just the youngest, she's the baby and maybe your mom needs that right now.

 

BUFFY

Dawn doesn't care what my mom... (beat) You just have no idea how much I wish I were an only child these days.

 

The crash of breaking glass comes from the rear of the store.

 

DAWN

(o.s.)

Oops!

 

Buffy winces and looks knowingly at Willow.

 

CUT TO:

 

SUMMERS HOME- FOYER- DAY

 

Buffy and Dawn enter, Dawn still going on about the incident at the shop.

 

DAWN

We can't all be born with big, fancy, Chosen One reflexes, you know.

 

BUFFY

Shh! Mom?

 

A soft moan comes from the living room.

 

Buffy and Dawn rush to Joyce, who is lying on the couch in obvious distress.

 

BUFFY

Mom!

 

DAWN

What's wrong?

 

JOYCE

(weak)

It's just my head.

 

BUFFY

I'm taking you to the doctor.

 

JOYCE

No, sweetheart. I'm fine.

 

BUFFY

We don't know that. We don't know anything. We're going.

 

JOYCE

I just need my prescription. Please?

 

Buffy picks up the slip and stands.

 

BUFFY

Hospital pharmacy open?

 

JOYCE

Mmm-hmm.

 

BUFFY

Ten minutes.

 

She heads out.

 

CUT TO:

 

SUNNYDALE HOSPITAL- PHARMACY COUNTER- DAY

 

The technician hands Buffy a bottle of pills and she turns to leave, examining the bottle as she goes. She passes two orderlies and a nurse wheeling a patient down the corridor on a gurney. BEN, the nurse, calls out to Buffy, stopping her.

 

BEN

Hey! It's Buffy, isn't it?

 

She looks at him, confused.

 

BEN

Ben... but you can call me man-nurse. Everybody else here does.

 

Suddenly the patient sits up, struggling to get off the gurney. It's the factory night watchman from the night before.

 

NIGHT WATCHMAN

I don't belong here. I have important instructions. Fascists!

 

Ben pushes him back down while the orderlies fasten his restraints.

 

BEN

Now you're hurting the nice orderly who's here to help you. (to nurse) I need nine cc's of Phenobarbital in this guy n-

 

Buffy steps up and slams the man down onto the gurney with one arm and effortlessly holds him there.

 

BEN

(amazed)

Or not. (to orderlies) Now let's strap him. (to patient) For your own good, I promise. (to Buffy) You know, not to be rampantly sexist in the workplace, but you've got some serious muscles for a girl.

 

BUFFY

I... um...

 

BEN

Radioactive spider bite.

 

BUFFY

How'd you guess?

 

BEN

I'm a doctor- well, almost.

 

The night watchman seizes Buffy's arm and looks at the medicine bottle she's holding.

 

NIGHT WATCHMAN

Doesn't even help. Doesn't make a damn bit of difference!

 

BUFFY

(to Ben)

I've met this guy. He's a security guard. He's not crazy.

 

BEN

If you say so...

 

NIGHT WATCHMAN

(to Buffy)

They're coming at you. Don't think you're above it, missy. They come through the family! They get to your family!

 

BUFFY

My family? What do you mean?

 

He lets go of her arm and the pill bottle falls to the floor.

 

BEN

(to orderlies)

Let's get him to Exam One. Now would be nice.

 

Buffy stares after him as the orderlies wheel him out. Ben picks up Buffy's pills and hands them to her.

 

BEN

I'm real sorry about that. Here. For your mom?

 

BUFFY

Yeah, thanks.

 

BEN

She's not feeling better?

 

BUFFY

Not yet but she will be. I'm starting to figure out what's wrong.

 

CUT TO:

 

SUNNYDALE INDUSTRIAL DISTRICT- FACTORY- DAY

 

The same factory where Buffy found the glowing orb. A voice echoes in the cavernous chamber, speaking in Czech.

 

MAN

(o.s.; subtitle)

God help me!

 

Pan down to reveal the monk from the Czech monastery crouched on the floor amid a circle of lit candles and magickal icons similar to the one we saw before. He's marking locations on a map of Sunnydale.

 

Suddenly, a deep boom reverberates through the factory and he looks up fearfully at the tempered steel door. The massive portal shudders as it's struck by some titanic force from outside.

 

MONK

The Beast!

 

The pounding continues and the steel buckles inward with each blow. The door suddenly flies into the room, taking a good portion of the surrounding wall with it.

 

When the dust settles, GLORY, an attractive blond woman in a form-fitting red dress stands incongruously amid the rubble. She strides into the room and smiles manically at the monk who cringes in fear.

 

GLORY

There you are. I have been looking all over for you.

 

FADE OUT

 

 

THE MAGIC BOX- DAY

 

Giles hands a couple their purchase with a smile.

 

GILES

Thank you for choosing to shop at The Magic Box and please do come again.

 

Willow stands at the counter, perusing an ancient tome. Giles waits until the couple leaves the store, then bounds over to her, giddy.

 

GILES

Did you see that? Customers! Real, live customers! They came in and I gave them things and they gave me money and then they left! It's brilliant!

 

He jumps back to the cash register to deposit the cash.

 

WILLOW

Congratulations. You're an official capitalist running dog. But I gotta tell ya...on the orbular front? We're batting zeroes.

 

GILES

Well, we'll just have to keep trying.

 

A group of customers enters and begins browsing. Giles calls out to them.

 

GILES

If there's anything you need help with, let me know.

 

One of the customers is ANYA who stops at the main display table, examining the items. She picks up a small bag of dust and carries it over to Giles.

 

ANYA

Your conjuring powder is grotesquely over-priced.

 

GILES

Anya...

 

ANYA

I'm sorry. I'm nearly out of money. I've never had to afford things before and it's making me bitter.

 

GILES

The change is palpable. That stuff doesn't come cheap.

 

ANYA

Well, you're getting ripped off. I could hook you up with the troll that sheds it.

 

Buffy runs in, flustered.

 

BUFFY

Giles, I have an idea what's making my mom sick.

 

GILES

Have you spoken with her doctors?

 

BUFFY

They won't find anything. What's hurting her- it's supernatural. (picks up the orb) The night watchman who found this thing? He went crazy- like overnight.

 

Willow, Giles and Anya back away cautiously.

 

BUFFY

It won't hurt us. I had it on me all night. But this guy, he saw things... he said things.

 

GILES

Such as?

 

BUFFY

They'll come at me through my family.

 

GILES

Who will?

 

BUFFY

I don't know... yet. But whatever touched this guy, it made him see through what the rest of us are seeing. He knew someone's hurting my mom and they're trying to get to me.

 

GILES

It's possible but still... the ramblings of a madman aren't much to go on.

 

BUFFY

Yeah, but it's a start. We need to find out who's making my mom sick and how.

 

WILLOW

Then what?

 

BUFFY

Then I hunt them... find them... and kill them.

 

CUT TO:

 

SUNNYDALE INDUSTRIAL DISTRICT- FACTORY- DAY    

 

Glory has the monk tied to a chair and gagged. He's been beaten severely. She paces around him while she talks, frequently getting right up in his terrified face.

 

GLORY

You know, when you think about it, I'm the victim here. First off, I don't even want to be here. And I'm not talking about this room or this city or this state or this planet. I'm talking about the whole mortal coil now, you know? It's disgusting! The food... the clothes... the people. I could crap a better existence than this. (beat) But... okay- and feel free to tell me if this next part gets a little too personal, because I'm told I have boundary issues- but I'm hurt! Yes, by your incredibly selfish behavior. Newsflash, hairdo: it's not always about you. All I want is the Key! Why? Why can't you tell me where the Key is? (beat; realizes) Oh! Forgive me... monky. Sometimes I just... I get so anxious- like there's something deep inside of me and it's swelling up and it's making me crazy!- that I forget there's all that duct tape on your face!

 

Glory rips the tape off violently and smiles at him. It's clear now that she's insane.

 

GLORY

Now... tell me where the Key is.

 

Glory shoves her knuckles into the monk's eyes and wrenches his nose.

 

GLORY

Or I'm going bowling.

 

She holds him there, sputtering in pain, then releases him.

 

GLORY

It's okay, it's okay, it's okay! The stutter's sexy. Keep it coming.

 

The monk stares at her for a beat then whispers in Czech.

 

MONK

Zabbij me... zabbij me. (Kill me... kill me.)

 

Glory stands up, enraged.

 

GLORY

Josve novem svete, tak prohoba speak American! (We're in the New World now so please, for God's sake, speak American!)

 

MONK

I... will tell you... (spits) nothing.

 

The monk glowers at her, scared but defiant. Glory sighs and suddenly seems on the verge of tears.

 

GLORY

Fine. You know what I wish? I wish that you could feel what I'm feeling right now.

 

She backs away from the monk and we now see a SECURITY GUARD chained to a steam pipe behind her. He hunches over, terrified.

 

GUARD

Lady, whatever you are... whatever you're on, please.

 

GLORY

(ignores him)

'Cause I don't know how much more of this I can take.

 

GUARD

I have a wife. Her name's Jennifer. We have two daughters.

 

Glory is in her own world. Her focus is on the monk. She pays no attention to the guard.

 

GLORY

(to monk)

I bet this is fun for you, isn't it? Say it. Why? You don't even own the damn thing and I want it, I need it and I gotta have it now and you keep refusing to tell me where the Key is!

 

Glory starts to come apart mentally.

 

GLORY

It's typical! The whole mortal meatsack comes complete with stink and bile sweat and protein. Yes, I said humans! Not now, Mommy's talking! Wriggling, piling, prowling, crawling, clowning, cavorting, doing it over and over and over and over until someone's gonna sit down on their tuffet and make this birthing stop!

 

With a strangled cry of despair, Glory puts her fingers on either side of the hapless guard's head. White light flares and his eyes go wide with shock and pain. He collapses to the floor, whimpering and gasping, while Glory takes a deep breath and stands, calm and refreshed.

 

GLORY

Ahh... that is so much better.

 

CUT TO:

 

THE MAGIC BOX- DAY

 

The shop is bustling with customers now. Anya is working the register and Buffy and Willow are at the counter, busily researching. A CUSTOMER approaches Willow with an antique hourglass.

 

CUSTOMER

Do you gift wrap?

 

WILLOW

Do we! (to Anya) Do we? (Anya nods) Oh! We do. Little help...

 

Giles is desperately trying to manage the customers and answer a flurry of questions.

 

GILES

No, no. Ground cloven hooves are 30% off. The whole ones are full price. (turns around) That's not... candy!

 

He looks up with relief as XANDER enters the store.

 

GILES

Xander! There's too many of them... people! And they all seem to want things.

 

XANDER

I hear ya. Stay British. You'll be okay.

 

He pats Giles on the shoulder then heads over to Anya.

 

XANDER

The thousand-yard stare. Damn! You hate to see it on any man but especially in retail.

 

Anya wraps up a woman's purchase and hands it to her.

 

ANYA

(to woman)

Please go.

 

The woman walks away, shaking her head.

 

XANDER

Anya, the Shopkeeper's Union of America called. They wanted me to tell you that "please go" just got replaced with "have a nice day".

 

ANYA

But I have their money. Who cares what kind of day they have?

 

XANDER

No one. It's just a long cultural tradition of raging insincerity. Embrace it.

 

Anya calls out to her customer.

 

ANYA

Hey, you! Have a nice day.

 

XANDER

There's my girl!

 

Anya grins with pride and Xander wanders over to Buffy. In b.g., Willow is utterly failing at gift wrapping the hourglass.

 

XANDER

(to Buffy)

Did you ever think in a million years you'd miss the high school library?

 

BUFFY

Someone put a spell on my mom. Something to make it seem like she's sick.

 

XANDER

That's a new kind of nasty. Any suspects?

 

BUFFY

Well, I've got the list narrowed down to just under infinity.

 

Willow carries the hourglass over to Anya, the wrapping paper hanging off it.

 

WILLOW

Does this look right to you?

 

ANYA

Sure, if you wrapped it with your feet.

 

Anya takes the hourglass and starts wrapping it herself. Willow frowns and turns away.

 

ANYA

You know, Buffy, there used to be this French sorcerer back in the 16th I-don't-know-what named-

 

GILES

Cloutier?

 

ANYA

So cute in his little knickers. But he had this one spell demons just hated called tirer la couture.

 

BUFFY

"Rotate many foodstuffs"?

 

WILLOW

"Pull the curtain back".

 

ANYA

A spell to see spells... well, a trance to see spells, actually, but you get the idea. Try that.

 

BUFFY

What do you mean "see" spells?

 

GILES

Well, all spells leave a trace signature. It's just not perceptible to the human eye. In this case, it could be the image of a hand choking your mother.

 

ANYA

Or a cloud of mist around her.

 

WILLOW

Or maybe the shape of the demon that's performing the spell?

 

GILES

Possible, yes.

 

Anya holds up the perfectly-wrapped hourglass, beaming.

 

BUFFY

Okay, so I'll do what Monsieur Silk Knickers did. I'll go home, I'll get trancey and I'll see what's affecting my mom.

 

WILLOW

I don't know, Buffy. Trances?

 

GILES

Yes, Buffy, the Sorcerer Cloutier was legendary. His skills at achieving higher states of consciousness were-

 

BUFFY

Better than mine? (to Willow) I knew he was gonna say that. (to Giles) But I've been practicing concentration skills. I know I'm close.

 

GILES

(serious)

Are you ready?

 

BUFFY

It's my mom. I'll get ready. (to Willow) What do I need?

 

CUT TO:

 

SUMMERS HOME- BUFFY'S ROOM- DAY

 

Buffy sits on the floor in the middle of her bedroom and dumps out a bag of incense, powders and other magickal talismans.

 

BUFFY

Thanks for coming over. I really appreciate the help.

 

Riley steps into frame and hunkers down next to her.

 

RILEY

Sure thing. So what do I do?

 

BUFFY

Lots. Tons. Lots and lots of tons. This is all kinda-

 

RILEY

New terrain?

 

BUFFY

All prayin', no slayin'. Okay, so the incense needs to be ignited... and there's a job. And this stuff needs to get poured around me in a circle, counter-clockwise-

 

RILEY

So you need me to light incense and pour sand?

 

BUFFY

Magick incense... and spooky sand... and the ritual itself is-

 

RILEY

Something you do alone. You sure this isn't just your way of trying to make me feel less- what are the words?- cute and weak and kittenish?

 

BUFFY

Kitteny.

 

RILEY

Right. Much manlier. Look... I really am okay.

 

BUFFY

I know.

 

RILEY

So I'm not quite Super Guy anymore. It was borrowed power anyway. Had to give it back some time.

 

BUFFY

I know you can handle yourself. I just didn't want to see you get hurt.

 

RILEY

Maybe instead of you trying to take care of me, we agree to take care of each other. Deal?

 

Buffy smiles and nods.

 

BUFFY

Done.

 

She stands and they shake hands. Riley leans over and kisses her forehead.

 

RILEY

For luck.

 

He turns to go but she pulls him back.

 

BUFFY

Hey, a girl needs more luck than that.

 

Riley smiles and kisses her tenderly.

 

RILEY

Have a nice trip.

 

He heads out and she closes her bedroom door behind him.

 

TIME CUT:

 

Buffy prepares for the ritual: incense is lit, conjuring powder is poured in a circle on the carpet. She sits, cross-legged, in the center and places her hands on her knees. She closes her eyes and begins meditating.

 

The silence is broken by a knock on the door.

 

DAWN

(o.s.)

What are you doing?

 

BUFFY

(frustrated)

My boyfriend. Go away.

 

DAWN

(o.s.)

Liar. Are you doing magick?

 

BUFFY

No, I'm not!

 

DAWN

Can I watch?

 

BUFFY

No, you can't!

 

DAWN

(o.s.)

Oh, come on! Please, please, like times ten and cubed? Please?

 

Dawn tries to open Buffy's door but Buffy slams it in her face.

 

DAWN

Yeah, well, I can smell your stinky incense down the hall, you know. And your clothes are gonna reek. And if you are doing magick, I am so telling.

 

Buffy folds up a towel and shoves it under the crack in the door.

 

BUFFY

Fine! Go! Go tell. Go do whatever you want. Just go!

 

Dawn is hurt. Despite everything, she really wants her big sister's approval. She turns and walks back down the hall, dejected. She goes into her room and slams the door.

 

Buffy returns to the circle, sits, and resumes her meditation.

 

Night. Buffy is still in the lotus position in deep meditation, her trance deepening with each passing moment. Her eyes suddenly snap open and she gets up and leaves her room. The house around her appears grainy, sepia-toned, reality slightly altered.

 

Buffy makes her way down the hall and stairs to the living room, taking in her surroundings as she goes, the familiar house suddenly appearing strange and new.

 

Joyce's voice comes to Buffy as if from a great distance. Buffy turns to find Joyce dressed and putting on her overcoat.

 

JOYCE

Buffy?

 

BUFFY

Mom? Are you going out?

 

Buffy studies her mother carefully but sees nothing out of the ordinary.

 

JOYCE

Well, either modern medicine's working or I just took the world's best placebo. Either way, I'm going out for a couple of hours.

 

BUFFY

Nothing...

 

JOYCE