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  • #91
    Dear god, that was a bit of chore to get though I'm afraid. I hate being lectured at in that manner when anyone with half a brain knows what the issues are already. Sorry.

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    • #92
      Originally posted by Silver1 View Post
      Dear god, that was a bit of chore to get though I'm afraid. I hate being lectured at in that manner when anyone with half a brain knows what the issues are already. Sorry.
      I really enjoyed the video (if enjoyed is the right word) but I think it missed the mark in a few places. I mean, are girls nowadays told to be ladies? And the biggest issue, I think, is porn and how everything is pornified and I wish that had been more referenced in the video. But still a pretty good effort I though.

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      • #93
        I was a bit intimidated by Cynthia Nixon's stare. I thought the video itself was well done but I find it so hypocritical to be lectured - as silver1 said - by someone who has been a part of the same industry that gives us all the stereotypes about how or what a woman should be. She made a fortune by selling those stereotypes herself and now she is criticizing them without giving the money back.

        flow
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        • Priceless
          Priceless commented
          Editing a comment
          Very good point flow

      • #94
        That provocative ice lolly sucking or "Ice Lolly BJ"? Samantha does that in Sex and the City. Some of my students used to argue it was a sign women were liberated!

        Priceless
        I mean, are girls nowadays told to be ladies?
        https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/...-heart-history

        https://www.stylist.co.uk/long-reads...usework/315360

        https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-02-...ssive/11960910
        Last edited by TriBel; 26-02-20, 12:12 AM.
        sigpic

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        • #95
          I was told that if your feminism is making men happy, you're doing it wrong

          This tradwife thing is petty niche isn't it? Most people, even men, would think it was ridiculous wouldn't they

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          • #96
            Most men probably also think their income doesn't allow them to support a wife plus three or four kids. I am a bit surprised that none of the tradwives mention how they are coping financially. Money doesn't seem to be an issue. If you are of independent means and don't have to earn a living you are not a tradwife but a privateer. I think it is safe to say most people would love to be that. I would. Of course, that doesn't mean I would bake banana bread. I'd probably do volunteer work instead. And read more fanfic

            flow
            ................................ Banner by buffylover

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            • #97
              Originally posted by flow View Post
              Most men probably also think their income doesn't allow them to support a wife plus three or four kids. I am a bit surprised that none of the tradwives mention how they are coping financially. Money doesn't seem to be an issue. If you are of independent means and don't have to earn a living you are not a tradwife but a privateer. I think it is safe to say most people would love to be that. I would. Of course, that doesn't mean I would bake banana bread. I'd probably do volunteer work instead. And read more fanfic

              flow
              I think the difference between earning enough to have one partner stay at home, and a 'tradwife' is that the tradwife does everything the husband commands. She's like another child in the family, while the husband is the parent. All decisions are his and all his demands have to be met. I think that's pretty scary. No matter how much you love and trust your partner, who wants to be treated life a child by them?

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              • #98
                Oh, I agree and I also agree that today most men don't want a wife or a partner in life anymore who acts like a child and wants to be treated like a child. They want a partner who is their equal. Who doesn'T? But a tradwife not only has to find a man who is looking for another child he has to take care of instead of a partner but also a man who earns enough to afford that kind of lifestyle. That's why you are absolutely right calling it pretty niche. It will only work for a very very very small percentage of married couples.

                flow
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                • #99
                  Originally posted by flow View Post
                  Oh, I agree and I also agree that today most men don't want a wife or a partner in life anymore who acts like a child and wants to be treated like a child. They want a partner who is their equal. Who doesn'T? But a tradwife not only has to find a man who is looking for another child he has to take care of instead of a partner but also a man who earns enough to afford that kind of lifestyle. That's why you are absolutely right calling it pretty niche. It will only work for a very very very small percentage of married couples.

                  flow
                  I hope this doesn't sound too un PC but I'm thinking it's only for the conservative religious right winged American. The sort that home schools and prepares for either the rapture or war against the government, which ever comes first.

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                  • I don't think you have to be a 'traditional housewife' (which certainly feels negatively meant) to be someone who stays at home and deals with the house and the kids. It doesn't mean you're subservient to the male role, it is just a way of structuring your family. I'm sure there are a lot of people that couldn't manage on a single wage, but there are people who choose to where they possibly don't get the same family holidays that families with two working parents do, as an example of the 'cost' of having one person stay at home. It can give an opportunity for the person at home to put time into hobbies or to explore other interests as well. For most people there's an opportunity cost in the choices they make, including those who choose to work. I think there are too many variables. But the idea of seeing staying at home as a return to a subservient role bothers me, I must admit.

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                    • When I was in my early twenties I was very firm in the working mom camp. We can have both, family and career, yay! Now, thirty years later I certainly see things differently, whereas times in my country have changed a lot too. Just in the other direction -lol. When my eldest went to daycare the day after his first birthday, I looked upon as a bad mom. When I stayed home with my youngest although he had already turned one I was looked upon as a relict of ancient times. Parents nowadays go back to work - sometimes with both parents working full time - immediately after their child has celebrated its first birthday. And that is generally seen to be a good thing. If you don't put your child in daycare you are taking away all the fun he could have with other kids.

                      Yet, after having seen both sides of the coin I do think that staying at home with your kids can be (it certainly depends on the kid - lol) a very fulfilling and satisfying experience. Therefore I am all on board if someone says they want to be a stay at home mom. But I think tradwife is going far beyond that. It's not about the family at all, it is about gender roles. In those three links, TriBel posted the focus was always on how to treat your husband and not how to care for your kids or your family. The idea that the father could stay at home while the mom is pursuing her career certainly does not exist in the world of tradwives.

                      Thirty years later I can also wholeheartedly say, it's not possible to have both a career and a family without any repercussions. We should completely drop that idea and focus on more flexible working arrangements of any sort.

                      I have no idea how allowance or alimentation laws work in the U.S. or the U.K. but in Germany - unless your very ill or your kids are very little - you are pretty much on your own if you get dicvorced. Obviously, a divorce is not something that happens to a tradwife - or maybe it does but they are not admitting it. But to me, this is the reason why I am saying as wonderful it is to spend time with your family it usually is the woman/mother who stays at home and will struggle financially if her husband removes himself and his income from their family. In Germany, 40% of all single moms have to rely on welfare completely or at least partly.

                      flow
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