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That I May Cease To Be by cousinjean starting on 7th February 2020

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  • That I May Cease To Be by cousinjean starting on 7th February 2020

    This will be our first discussion for 2020 and I am excited about our fic because it is by one of my all-time favorite writers and I have not read it before.

    I am talking about

    That I May Cease To Be by cousinjean
    Summary: After withstanding the First's attempts to break him, Spike suddenly finds himself living William's life as if he'd never died; but how did he get there, and why? And does this mean he'll never see Buffy again?



    This is a rather short fic with 18k words and that's why the discussion will already be starting Friday next week.

    You can find the story on All About Spike

    http://www.allaboutspike.com/fic.html?id=291

    ff.net

    https://www.fanfiction.net/s/1108815...ay-Cease-To-Be

    and Elysian Fields

    https://dark-solace.org/elysian/viewstory.php?sid=414

    Dear cousinjean, if you have found your way to this thread, please be so kind as to read this:
    before you proceed. Thank you for your consideration. Please feel welcome to join in the discussion. We would be delighted and honored.









    flow

    Last edited by flow; 30-01-20, 07:52 PM.
    ................................ Banner by buffylover

  • #2
    I've not read this one either and am quite looking forward to it

    Comment


    • #3
      I have it sat on my computer open and ready for me to find a quiet day!!

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Priceless View Post
        I've not read this one either and am quite looking forward to it
        That's me and my twinsie.....totally insync again.


        I like who I am when I’m with him. I like who we are together.”

        Comment


        • #5
          Let the discussion start:

          I am a huge fan of cousinjean's stories and this one has totally fulfilled my high expectations. It's an amazing story. Spike waking up in William's life was a nice plot idea, to begin with. His denial at the beginning, the hospital, the slow realization that he is really back in time was well done. The most interesting part of this story was imho how he struggled with what to do. Letting himself be turned again and live through the years again comes to mind at first. The downside would, of course, be that he would lose his soul again and he cannot know how the years as a vampire would turn out. he could again kill ten thousand. Therefore this solution wasn't properly thought through and actually a quite dangerous plan. Making a wish to Halfrek was another desperate attempt. In the end, he came to the solution that he could still help Buffy by taking out three of the most dangerous vampires she will meet. I like how he still had difficulties to kill off Drusilla and even Angelus. Charlie turning out to be The First evil was a surprise for me and I really liked his final plan to get back to Buffy. Funnily enough, I have read another fic last week which had a similar solution to escaping a dream. But both writers handled that well. Maybe the ending was a tiny bit too sappy for me but it can't tarnish this beautiful story.

          flow
          ................................ Banner by buffylover

          Comment


          • #6
            Eeeep, I've only managed to get to the end of chapter 3. I have been really enjoying it so far though and will try to read the rest before the end of the weekend and then read through what others have written and post myself. Always behind.

            Comment


            • #7
              I've just started, I'll catch up and hopefully finish it tonight

              Comment


              • Stoney
                Stoney commented
                Editing a comment
                Show off.

            • #8
              I enjoyed this story a lot. It was a quick read for me, and I read it in a day.

              Spike's dilemma about what to do is written so well, and I honestly didn't know what he would decide to do. Charlie being the fist evil, was a surprise for me. I swear I read another fic where William has a friend named Charlie, can't remember which one though. I guess it's a common victorian name.

              This fic is the first I read from couisinjean. I will definitely read more of her fics in the future.

              Comment


              • #9
                This fic is very much Spike's version of Normal Again. It was really well written. Cousinjean's style is very good, and she avoids her work being too overly-written, which I appreciate. Her characterisation was spot on and I really liked how Anne was written, she was very believable and sympathetic. I liked Charlie a lot too, and I didn't guess the twist till quite a long way through

                There were a few things that stood out to me, (yes I am incredibly nit pickky) and make me think cousinjean isn't English. An Englishman would never call their fringe 'bangs'. Doubt a man would be allowed upstairs in a house that was not his own without a servant leading the way. I can't say for definite, but I don't believe there was ever table service in London pub and you certainly paid upon service and there's no way you'd get two shots of whiskey without any money changing hands. I also doubt Charlie would refer to a woman as a 'bird', which seems a very 20th century reference. Spike slipped a girl

                Comment


                • #10
                  I'm also a big cousinjean fan and have read pretty much everything she's written. I dont know how I missed this one. I read it on one sitting like redtent. The story is short yet so much happens, so much depth revealed, it feels much longer but in a good way.


                  I like who I am when I’m with him. I like who we are together.”

                  Comment


                  • #11
                    Where did the rest of my post go?

                    Can you all see the 3 paras of my post or does it end with 'Spike slipped a girl' which is a fab surreal ending, but not how I actually ended it. Oh well. Enjoyed the fic.

                    Oh, I used a pound sign, is that HTML or whatevers it's called?
                    Last edited by Priceless; 07-02-20, 09:22 PM.

                    Comment


                    • Stoney
                      Stoney commented
                      Editing a comment
                      It does seem to be symbols and odd characters that wipe all text after them. I wouldn't have thought that would count as HTML, but I'm not very tech savvy. I'll note it as an example, but yeah, that'll be why everything after vanished. Did you copy the text in or type it in here?

                    • Priceless
                      Priceless commented
                      Editing a comment
                      I typed it in Stoney. I didn't say anything earth shattering, so no biggie, just a bit annoying.

                    • Stoney
                      Stoney commented
                      Editing a comment
                      But it would have been good to read and it's definitely an annoying glitch that wastes your time and frustrates. Thanks for the info Pricey.

                  • #12
                    Right I managed to stay awake once I'd caught up on the other posts/messages. So not so bad that it was the end of the weekend, I'm only a couple of hours over the discussion date. Okay, my thoughts...

                    Really intriguing start as you're left not knowing if it is a dream or time travel that's combining an alternate past with his vampiric memories. I loved the shocked responses to his manner at first in the hospital and the scene where his mother arrives as he's telling the Dr to sod off. His mixed responses of nostalgia and dread when heading home were great. Then him seeing himself as William, but still having his eyebrow scar and Dru's bite followed by the brief flashed sight of a Bringer and the occasional moments of sharing scenes with the scoobies were great.


                    I was really amused by Spike thinking he'd been full of shit when he'd talked to Buffy about being sired in FFL. I do wonder how he'd view some specific moments from his past when souled and I'm sure that is a pretty good suggestion for his changed perspective on points, ha. His physical reaction to considering his death, his murder, was another interesting scene and the memory of killing the girl he found Dru with later was well written. The interactions with his mum and the inability to not respond to her disappointment and reprimands were also really good. And all the scenes with 'Charlie' were very enjoyable.

                    I actually found the scene with Angel outside the pub was a bit disappointing as Dru had just randomly exited the whole scene, and Angel was possibly a little too quick to acquiesce to biting him. Plus, he didn't sound much like Angel then or in the later death scene. And, whilst I've always been sure that Spike would have really mixed feelings towards Dru once souled (the feeling of his vampire family still being a strong connection makes perfect sense to me), I'm not sure the thought of a world without Dru in it would make him want to throw up. It's hard to gauge really as we never saw them interact once he was souled, but I think his attachment to the life he was trying to return to would also make his responses to her complicated. His years with her having led him there after all. It's certainly a complicated additional layer and his uncertainty but eventual resolve to kill them to benefit the future if he couldn't return to it was very believable.

                    The comment about slipping the girl an extra twenty quid stood out as that really wasn't an appropriate amount of money for the times. Heck it was an 'extra' too when twenty alone was probably more like half a year's earnings for an average wage! This did make me wonder if this was what Pricey was commenting about when her post cut off??

                    I really enjoyed Spike figuring it all out and the way The First was hidden as Charlie. Although Charlie was able to pick things up and interact, it was in a dream so it didn't break any 'rules' but just helped to hide that it was all a torment by The First, which was a nice touch. Working it out by picking up on odd mistakes and having those brief moments of awareness of what was really happening mixed in too worked well. Buffy's increased open affection with him was a little wishful I think, but it wasn't jarringly over the top in declarations and affection against canon at that point, so I could happily roll with it.

                    Basically it's a really nice story. The pace kept my attention well, the story built up consistently and sustained intrigue throughout. Pretty great really.


                    Right, I'm off to read through what everyone else had to say about it...

                    Comment


                    • #13
                      I really liked the point flow and redtent made about seeing the varying thoughts Spike had about what to do, the cost/risks of being turned again against letting himself live/die as William instead, trying to make the wish and all that led to his conclusion to at least remove the certain danger he could. I agree it was a really good aspect of the story. Which was the other story you read recently where the character was trapped in a dream flow?

                      Originally posted by redtent View Post
                      I enjoyed this story a lot. It was a quick read for me, and I read it in a day.
                      Yes, once I was able to put a couple of hours aside for it it was quick to finish the final two thirds.

                      Charlie being the fist evil, was a surprise for me. I swear I read another fic where William has a friend named Charlie, can't remember which one though. I guess it's a common victorian name.
                      I think I've read a few where a Charles or Charlie is used in fics that do time travel. I'm pretty sure this was true for a friend of William's in A Different Kind of Hell by offyourbird, if you've read that one. Charles takes Buffy to the party in it I think.

                      Originally posted by Priceless View Post
                      ...I really liked how Anne was written, she was very believable and sympathetic. I liked Charlie a lot too, and I didn't guess the twist till quite a long way through
                      Yes! Anne was great and I didn't guess the twist with Charlie either. Mostly because of the advantage of being able to mask the First's incorporeal state through it being a dream.

                      There were a few things that stood out to me, (yes I am incredibly nit pickky) and make me think cousinjean isn't English. An Englishman would never call their fringe 'bangs'. Doubt a man would be allowed upstairs in a house that was not his own without a servant leading the way. I can't say for definite, but I don't believe there was ever table service in London pub and you certainly paid upon service and there's no way you'd get two shots of whiskey without any money changing hands. I also doubt Charlie would refer to a woman as a 'bird', which seems a very 20th century reference. Spike slipped a girl
                      Was your comment going to be about the amount of money Spike gave the girl like I commented?? The fact they weren't paying for the drinks stood out I thought too and you're probably right about the other historically questionable aspects.

                      Comment


                      • #14
                        The comment about slipping the girl an extra twenty quid stood out as that really wasn't an appropriate amount of money for the times. Heck it was an 'extra' too when twenty alone was probably more like half a year's earnings for an average wage! This did make me wonder if this was what Pricey was commenting about when her post cut off??
                        Yes that really stood out. Twenty quid in 1880 would be about two thousand pounds!

                        Comment


                        • #15
                          redtent:
                          This fic is the first I read from couisinjean. I will definitely read more of her fics in the future.

                          Her absolute masterpiece and at the same time a must-read "classic" Spuffy fanfic is The Butterfly Effect. Now, I don't really know if I should rec to read this first - because everything else is still good but not in the league of The Butterfly Effect - or if I should rec to read everything else first and keep this to savor last. Some of her fics are rather darker than That I May Cease To be but one but none is on a level of darkness that should put you off reading them.

                          Priceless:
                          There were a few things that stood out to me, (yes I am incredibly nit pickky) and make me think cousinjean isn't English

                          Cousinjean is one of the (many) Spuffy fanfic authors who have also published original fiction. She writes paranormal novels and you can find her website here:

                          https://jeanmariebauhaus.com/

                          She is indeed not English but was born and raised in Oklahoma and now lives in Arkansas according to her website. The twenty pounds did totally escape my notice. Yeah, it must have been a fortune back then.

                          Stoney:
                          Which was the other story you read recently where the character was trapped in a dream
                          flow
                          ?
                          It was Midway In Speech and Thought by TheHousekeeper. Different character though and also nothing to do with the First Evil. It just stood out to me that a character jumped/got thrown off a building to wake up from a dream twice in one week -

                          flow
                          Last edited by flow; 08-02-20, 10:19 AM.
                          ................................ Banner by buffylover

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