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Fin Amour by Angearia starting on 12th April 2019

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  • #31
    I really enjoyed both stories and I too avoid WIPs but I'm so glad he kept going for the bit of closure.


    “I like who I am when I’m with him. I like who we are together.”

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    • #32
      Originally posted by flow View Post
      Dear Angearia, if you have found your way to this thread, please be so kind as to read this:

      http://www.buffyforums.net/forums/sh...re-you-proceed!

      before you proceed. Thank you for your consideration. Please feel welcome to join in the discussion. We would be delighted and honored.



      flow

      Thank you flow and everyone for the kind invitation! It's a pleasure to see such thoughtful discussion. And I hope you don't mind if I share a few thoughts on my authorial intentions. Now whether that's how others read it is a different story, I know, and I'm a big supporter of "the author is dead" in literary analysis so I don't mean what I write to be overbearing in any way. =)

      For my part, I intended to write this as a romantic Spuffy story, while being deeply tragic and angsty. And while I think it's very clear already that Spike is in love with Buffy - embodying the "fin amour" that leads to his ultimate sacrifice - I also wanted to show how Spike plays an instrumental role in opening up Buffy's heart.

      For the first few chapters, Buffy's caught up in fate throwing her a curve ball and violating her physical autonomy, which breeds that resentment of the baby that's not really hers. Then comes one of my favorite exchanges between Buffy and Spike in Chapter 5 when Spike talks about the baby and empathizes with how the "poor sprog" also didn't ask for this. And how that's something Buffy herself can relate, too - it's the moment when the baby becomes a person to her, not just a burden she didn't ask for.

      The end of that scene, right as Spike's about to leave to defend Buffy while she's in labor is one of my favorite exchanges, because in my mind they're essentially saying/feeling "I love you" at the same moment they're saying goodbye - it's the moment when their hearts are finally starting to catch up with each other. Especially for Buffy, whose love language is "acts of service." For Spike to fight and protect Buffy is the ultimate way of showing love. That's how Buffy shows her love, after all, and his doing it now affects her more deeply than any romantic vows of love ever could. Before that point, she'd been largely in denial about the reality of his feelings - but his sacrifice is what makes it real.

      He looks at their joint hands then returns her gaze, solemn and serious. “Can’t not. Comes a point it doesn’t matter what you can do. You do what you have to.”

      “Don’t be stupid,” she whispers. There’s tears in her eyes and she’s not sure why.

      He smiles, soft, and his gaze is fond. “What other way am I gonna be?”

      She laughs, only it sounds more like a whimper, so she squeezes his hands as if to reassure him she’s strong, as if to comfort herself with his own strength. He leans forward, slowly, and kisses her on the forehead, gentle and soft, and she’s surprised to find her chest tight, her eyes overflowing.
      I see this as the major turning point for Buffy's emotional journey in the story - and it's all because Spike has found a way to connect with her and help her open her heart - remembering how this is Season 5 and she's "full of love", she just has to be open to that love. It's why she's able to love the baby once she's born - and why she feels love for Spike even after he's gone. That's what I was trying to convey - and partly showcasing in the quotes throughout on how theirs is a love that defies metaphysical limits - even death.

      There is a land of the living and a land of the dead and the bridge is love, the only survival, the only meaning.
      - Thornton Wilder

      Unable are the loved to die for love is immortality.
      -Emily Dickinson
      So really, the thesis is that love is bigger than death - and that through Buffy and Spike's journey together, they've built a love that bridges the "land of the living and the land of the dead." That's a big part of what makes it so tragic, of course - that Spike is in love up to his death and Buffy only finds herself full of love after he's gone. Yet another case of Spuffy's unfortunate timing. ;-)
      Last edited by Emmie; 05-01-20, 09:46 AM.
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      • #33
        Thank you Emmie for posting here, I really enjoy the authors commenting on their work and giving more of an insight.

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        • #34
          Hi Emmie

          Thanks for the response. Unfortunately, because of my very small brain and my inability to remember anything other than my name, I only have a vague recollection of the story so I'll read it again. That I said more than "I like it" or "I didn't finish it" suggests I really enjoyed it. Sadly, I'm able to recall Roland Barthes much more easily than fiction. I seem to be waxing (not so lyrically) about abjection. But then, I usually do.
          Last edited by TriBel; 05-01-20, 10:00 AM.
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          • #35
            Hi TriBel! No worries on the vague recollection - especially when I was a bit late to the discussion by... oh, 8 months! LOL

            I'm the same, reading so much, that my memory gets fuzzy on the details.
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            • #36
              Originally posted by Emmie View Post
              Hi TriBel! No worries on the vague recollection - especially when I was a bit late to the discussion by... oh, 8 months! LOL

              I'm the same, reading so much, that my memory gets fuzzy on the details.
              Do you have a favourite fic you'd like to recommend to the group? It can be one of your own, or a fic you've enjoyed reading? Or even both, we are always open to suggestions.

              After reading the thread I see we all liked your fic, which I think is pretty unusual, as we all have different tastes and we do often argue over the small details

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              • #37
                Originally posted by Priceless View Post
                Do you have a favourite fic you'd like to recommend to the group? It can be one of your own, or a fic you've enjoyed reading? Or even both, we are always open to suggestions.
                Oh that's tough to just pick one! Right off the cuff, I'd want to point to one of Lirazel's Spuffy stories. Maybe Ars Poetica or Love and Blackmail. Her prose is beautiful.

                Originally posted by Priceless View Post
                After reading the thread I see we all liked your fic, which I think is pretty unusual, as we all have different tastes and we do often argue over the small details
                Consider me flattered
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                • #38
                  Emmie it's so lovely to see you here again. Thank you for adding to the thread in giving some interesting insight into authorial intent.

                  Thanks for the Lirazel recs too. I've only read a couple of her stories (100 Strokes and Prism) and thought they were really good. 100 Strokes especially is just beautiful and I'd definitely be interested in looking at another of hers.

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                  • #39
                    I've just flicked through Emmie's fic. I remembered the end - which is a) an achievement for me and b) testimony to the strength of Emmie's writing.
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                    • #40
                      Hi Emmie,

                      thank you for posting here! It is great to hear your thoughts and intentions on the story. Especially this:

                      Emmie:
                      because in my mind they're essentially saying/feeling "I love you" at the same moment they're saying goodbye - it's the moment when their hearts are finally starting to catch up with each other.
                      made me appreciate your story even more.

                      I do apologize for having said it wasn't a Spuffy story, strictly speaking. I was afraid someone would read it and be absolutely devastated by Spike's death. Therefore I tried to issue a warning without giving away the sacrifice Spike made in your story. As I said earlier this is the only fanfiction story in which Spike's sacrifice feels as organic and fulfilling as in Chosen. This is why I don't really need a sequel to your wonderful story although I am still ready to read the_moonmoths story should she finish it someday.


                      Ars Poetica by Lirazel was one of the very first fanfics I've ever read and is - next to Gwenhys Rhys A Brief History of Now - responsible for the fact I have become addicted to fanfic the way I have. I haven't read Love and Blackmail though. I have put it on the list for our group discussion and I am looking forward to reading it. Thank you for the recommendation.

                      flow
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                      • #41
                        If you've read The Soul Lies Down by the_moonmoth , would you recommend it, even though it's a WIP?

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                        • #42
                          Originally posted by flow View Post
                          Hi Emmie,

                          thank you for posting here! It is great to hear your thoughts and intentions on the story. Especially this:

                          Emmie: made me appreciate your story even more.

                          I do apologize for having said it wasn't a Spuffy story, strictly speaking. I was afraid someone would read it and be absolutely devastated by Spike's death. Therefore I tried to issue a warning without giving away the sacrifice Spike made in your story. As I said earlier this is the only fanfiction story in which Spike's sacrifice feels as organic and fulfilling as in Chosen. This is why I don't really need a sequel to your wonderful story although I am still ready to read the_moonmoths story should she finish it someday.
                          I totally understand, flow, it's a very non-traditional ship story since they're not together in a relationship. Which is really driven by the challenge for my writing it from the onset - to show romantic love without the sex.

                          You know, I had actually contemplated writing my own sequel after completing Fin Amour and decided against it because I thought it undercut the power of Spike's sacrifice and the message of love spanning life and death*. For me, the story is complete.

                          Thank you so much for saying his sacrifice felt "organic and fulfilling" - that's EXACTLY what I was striving for and I so appreciate it. But then, I love stories that can make me feel deeply, even if it's sadness. Those are the stories that have left their mark on me.

                          I absolutely understand your concern about warning other readers, as responses to the story are typically split between those who are on board with Spike's sacrifice and those who find it's not their cuppa tea. It's partly why I said yes to the_moonmoth's sequel - because while I didn't feel the need for that story, I knew there were readers who wanted to see it differently. For me personally, it wasn't necessary - it felt complete.


                          Originally posted by Stoney View Post
                          Emmie it's so lovely to see you here again. Thank you for adding to the thread in giving some interesting insight into authorial intent.

                          Thanks for the Lirazel recs too. I've only read a couple of her stories (100 Strokes and Prism) and thought they were really good. 100 Strokes especially is just beautiful and I'd definitely be interested in looking at another of hers.
                          My pleasure, Stoney, happy to join the discussion



                          *Regarding love spanning life and death, that lines up symbolically in the story - Spike dies at the moment Dawn first cries after being born.
                          Last edited by Emmie; 05-01-20, 10:39 PM.
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                          • #43
                            Originally posted by Priceless View Post
                            If you've read The Soul Lies Down by the_moonmoth , would you recommend it, even though it's a WIP?
                            I've just looked back over this thread and I think I enthused over it so yes. Bear in mind I have an idiosyncratic way of reading!
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                            • #44
                              I had started to read the sequel and whilst I found aspects of it quite lovely I also found frustrations too. I stopped reading it for concern that by touching on things that I personally find frustrating it could result in it marring my feelings about the original fic, which I have read and reread and really do love as is. I think I was just happier to see it end as a bittersweet story.

                              Do you still write Emmie?

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                              • #45
                                I didn't think the story needed a sequel (I would have been fine with the sad ending) but I did read and enjoy it.
                                https://www.youtube.com/c/DoubleDutchess

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